Species LandLord Invertebrate

Out of the necessity of travelling outside Mumbai for my job I have always had to rent out apartments for my survival in various cities. Now that I am in Hyderabad I have come to the conclusion that where ever you go the genus Landlord Invertebrate is a direct descendant of the greedy overlords that our ancestors thought were slayed along with the dragons.

Here are some of the peculiar traits of these species. I hope that these will help you identify these specimens and stay clear of their path.
1. Greed - While this is a feature of every animal I have to say that landlords are way more greedier. I have been working for the past 5 years in the industry and even I cant expect a 10% increase yoy every year. That combined with the inflation rate that is at least 5% every year how can anyone expect a rental increase of 10-15% every year ? That too without any maintenance being done on the property.

2. False Claims - Every freaking landlord advertises his house as near a school, hospital, grocery store, IT park and mall. They will always say that this is just a stones throw away, while the reality is that there is stones and muck everywhere on the way to these places however close they are from the apartment. More ever once you occupy the place you can forget anything to be repaired by this species. They will always say that it will be fixed but if you wait for it to happen you might as well be without it. Yeah but if you say that you will fix it and cut the cost from the month's rent you can at least expect a quick reply from the species.

3. Sexual Discrimination - I have always noticed that the rentals for single girls are always better, cleaner, cheaper and aplenty. And in 100% of these places the landlord always likes to have a "friendly" conversation with his tenants on a daily basis.

4. No Bachelors or Family preferred - This is the most irritating problem that is hampering me from enjoying my bachelorhood. These specimens always prefer families as tenants for whatever reason. Bachelors are seen as rowdy creatures that don't need adequate housing. Now weren't they bachelors ever?

5. Pesky Rules and Regulations - Now if you manage to find someone who doesn't mind having bachelors as tenants then that specimen comes up with his list of rules and regulations. No friends, no drinks, no smoking, no girls, no loud music and the crap continues. Now you charge us such filthy high rentals and still feel that it is your prerogative to decide on how we live our lives. Gimme a break.


To all the creatures of the Landlord Invertebrate species I wish you all the harm in the world. May you face extinction and may your life be as miserable and as crappy as the things that you do upon your tenants.

Remember that your existence is because of your tenants and not the other way around.

My middle finger to you all!!! @#$%^!